Low Battery
20% of battery remaining
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For the love of God, it's only 8:30am. You gaze down at your good for nothing, cracked screened iPhone 6s - let's be honest, it's always an iPhone - as the turtleneck-wearing ghost of Steve Jobs takes a bite out of an Apple and nonchalantly turns the egg timer counting down to you and your phone's imminent death.
You knew Jobs was a bit of a knob, you've seen Fassbender in the movie, but it turns out his ghost is a bit of a twat too.
Yet, in that one moment of panic-stricken frustration, your attention does not direct itself to the pittance of his corporation's batteries.
Oh no.
What you're thinking about is the iPhone XR. You know your time for an upgrade is on the horizon and you've seen the tweets about it having 'the best battery yet'. You forget that's like saying Theresa May's latest Brexit plan was her 'best yet' - a bit better but, ultimately, still completely shit.
Oh no.
What you're thinking about is the iPhone XR. You know your time for an upgrade is on the horizon and you've seen the tweets about it having 'the best battery yet'. You forget that's like saying Theresa May's latest Brexit plan was her 'best yet' - a bit better but, ultimately, still completely shit.
18% |||
Right. So we're skipping percentages already are we? What happened to 19%? Sure, it's one of the uglier numbers, along with 17, but to skip it out altogether is a bit of a dick move. But there's no time to start feeling sympathy for numbers: it's time to enter fight or flight mode.
*Double taps Home button*
